The Game Continues............

There was a period of a few months, back around my 18^th summer, that I took a job that involved knocking on the doors of homes, mostly suburban homes, usually around dinner time and giving away encyclopedias. Well, I wasn't actually give them away. The sets cost a few hundred bucks and in order to get one the customers had to sign a contract to pay for them: it actually said “retail installment agreement” right at the top. In big letters, too.  They also had to give me a deposit.  I told them we were only giving the encyclopedia sets away to people who “qualified” to get them.  And people, as they signed that agreement and wrote out a check, actually asked when they would find out if they qualified to get that free set. 

The best doors to knock on were on houses that had aluminum siding, a silly looking fence and a “jungle gym” in the back yard.  Once I was inside, if I also spotted a table with a couple of dozen magazines addressed to them, then these folks were gold.  We called them “naturals.”  It was not a compliment. 

In those few months, I made enough doing this to buy a motorcycle.

Unfortunately for the gene pool, these people also had children. No doubt you've met a few. But all's not lost: there is yet another generation of hustlers ready to separate them from their cash. These are the folks who would have been out there with me knocking on doors offering them free encyclopedias. Today, they are selling them “vegan” donuts and a (small!) coffee for Five Bucks a pop. 

W.C. Fields is no doubt smiling down on them.